The one about my pretty jazzed up 35th birthday

I have not always had the best relationship with aging because of the “forever young” fad that has been a part of society and life in general. We have been thought to romanticise the idea of not looking our age and all that jazz. In my case, it was not about not looking my age, it was about expectations.

Almost every year up until about 2 years ago, I would aways cry on my birthday because it looked to me like I was not doing well enough in life in direct comparison to whatever age I was turning at the time. However, 2023 has taught me a valuable lesson about appreciating every living moment. I was reminded that every breath is a privilege. Death eventually comes for us all and all we have is the now.

Now what kind of blogger would I be if i did not make a list of 35 things I do or have learnt in the course of my life, so here we go:

1. Take a nap. Covid struck and I finally got the luxury of taking a mid day nap and all I can say is, please try it and come back to me to testify.
2. Have something to look forward to. What kept me sane back in Lagos was going on one vacation and living the rest of the year planning for another.
3. Tell people you love them while you still can. I learnt this the hard way and I wish it did not happen but it did.
4. Watch a comedy series. The number of times that repeat episodes of The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family stopped me from going over the edge is one for the books.
5. Watch old series. I recently started watching some very old series like Ugly Betty and I absolutely loved it.
6. Make friends at work. Now to be fair, I do not know if this applies in corporate North America but about 70% of my close friends now are friends I met at work.
7. Never say never. Quite literally, do not say it. It is shocking to me the number of things I thought I would never do or be over the course of my life that I have now succumbed to either due to minimal options or just life being what it is, life.
8. Keep your joy since happiness is transient.
9. Start again, and again. There is no shame in rebuilding the life you have to become the life you want.
10. Allow yourself to feel things. I spent almost a huge chunk of my years shying away from being hurt and that’s not living. FYI, being vulnerable hurts like hell but it is what it is.
11. Cry. Let out those pent up emotions. Don’t be “a man”. I cried so much in 2023 and I think it helped me feel better. I wrote a post about it linked here.
12. Use deodorant. I won’t be speaking further on this.
13. Do not mess up your sleep cycle. I have done this and I am now paying the price. It is not pretty!
14. Hug people you love. The hugs of people I care about is like a drop of water on a very hot day.
15. Laugh oooo, be foolish, be juvenile. “Do not tight the world to yourself”.
16. Eat your money. If you do not, your next of kin will and they may not be so frugal.
17. Use your vacation days at work. One thing I will do is use my vacation days, I am not about to be employee of the year at the cost of my sanity.
18. Travel the world if you can. I understand that I typed this from a position of privilege but my wish for everyone is to see the world because it is so beautiful.
19. Please make friends, everyone needs someone. No one is an island and the world is too tough to navigate alone. I made it through 2023 because my friends held me up both in person and in prayers.
20. When you make those friends, please do not take them for granted. Friendships also deserve to be nurtured. I try all I can to show up for people as much as I can.
21. Eat well. I am far from doing this but I see now the overall value this holds and I am trying to get right with my gut health.
22. Stay grateful and focus on the positive as often as possible. I remind myself often that things can be worse than they currently are and it keeps me focused on what is working rather than what’s not.
23. Seek professional mental help if required. There should be no shame in doing this but we know the world is what it is. I have often had it on my radar to see a therapist but I have not gotten round it, but I know i will be a much healthier adult when I finally suck it up and do it.
24. Please medically investigate everything going on in your body. It is always better to be safe than sorry.
25. I have stopped chasing job titles and I just chase who pays the highest now. This is personal to me and not an advice to readers.
26. Please take pictures, document your life. Treat your life like it is a movie because one day, that’s all people will have left to remember you.
27. Give it time. Time is one of the best gifts of God to us. Time heals, it softens the blow, dulls the ache lessens the hurt, takes the edge off. Time often also shows off the reward of consistency, hard work, growth and persistence. Give time some time.
28. PRAY
29. Trust God please. The circumstances always seem unsurmountable but God is kind to us always even when it does not seem like it.
30. Encourage yourself in the Lord. I have had to perfect the art of being my own pastor and priest motivating myself when things get tough because I realized that people won’t always be there to remind me of God’s promises.
31. Always remember a bad day isn’t a bad life. If you are looking for the queen of overthinking and spiraling, it is yours truly. There are days when all I need is just food and sleep but I will be thinking the world is against me, lol.
32. Make peace with the fact that you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Know this and know peace.
33. Every once in a while, buy something nice for yourself. Splurge. I think it’s okay to have at least one guilty pleasure because life is hard enough as it is. My go-to now is a spa date once every month.
34. You should rest before you quench. This one is personal because being an adult is extremely tiring and unending, there are days when I absolutely refuse to participate for the sake of my mental health. I stay in bed all day, order out and go back to sleep again. Helping my body to rest before it forces me to rest by itself.
35. Last but not the least, please be kind to yourself. I made a bunch of stupid mistakes in 2023 and I felt so foolish constantly for months on end. Looking back, I wish I didn’t judge myself so harshly and extended the same grace I would others to myself.
36. Extra Point: Manage your expectations of people. Do not assume that people rate you as much as you rate them.

Please let me know if there is any of these that speaks to you. Also, feel free to add yours so other people can learn from you.

Love, light and amala.