The one about getting snipped

This is a rant.

Men, come here please and let us talk.

I have been wanting to write this post since forever, but I did not know how to write it without it looking like I am putting men on the spot. However, I realized overtime that there is not a fail-proof way to communicate this so I will just do it in the nicest way possible.

One of the good things about knowledge is that you do not necessarily need to be in a classroom to get it. This whole thing came to my consciousness when I saw a movie a few years ago . I have googled the movie summary in the hopes of getting the title but no luck. It aired for so many months in DSTV a few years ago. If you perchance know the movie, please drop the title in the comments.

Here is the synopsis, a couple that already had about 4 kids or so needed a permanent birth control and the lady had been reacting badly to the pills and insertions she had in the passt. She was getting hormonal imbalances that made her depressed, the pills made her bloated etc. Their doctor suggested to them he get a vasectomy instead and my man freaked the hell out.

Now, this was a comedy so you can imagine the hilarity of it all, he had hallucinations, dreams of how he became less of a man etc, an entire circus I tell you. In the end, he got it snipped though because Aunty said she ain’t going back on those meds that want to ruin her.

In the midst of the drama, I realized that society actually directly or indirectly expects the woman to take responsibility of birth control in relationships. Therefore, you see movies with the guys yelling “how did it happen”, when a girl breaks the pregnancy news. It is also the reason men will shout when their wives get pregnant after they had both said they won’t have another baby. It is almost as though women should be able to rebuke the lucky sperm once they sense it nearing their eggs. Bollocks.

I realize not every couple will get to the stage of getting a permanent birth control measure but if the issue arises, dear men, please ask yourself if you will be open to doing it instead of asking your wives to tie her tubes. Women already are bearing the cross of conception, morning sickness, labour, delivery, the first 1 year where some women either have post-natal depression or even a permanent medical condition as a result of childbirth and so much more. If you doubt it, read up on women’s experiences. Some men now expect this same woman to get an insertion or take constant pills or whatever needs to be done which will set her hormones off kilter or pile on some more weight she is just trying to lose.

Sigh. In the spirit of not losing my cool, I am going to assume the reason men are not opting for this is because they do not know about it. I spoke to two of my friends who are doctors and they explained to me in layman’s language which I will now re-explain as below:
A vasectomy is one of the safest routine surgeries out there. It is basically tying the ends of the tubes that your sperm travels through to get to the testicles, think of it as locking the gates. It is male sterilization. The surgery is done in minutes and you can even go back to work in a few days. WEB MD says here that a vasectomy is more effective than female sterilization, it is also simpler and cheaper, and I know men like to save money so yay. It is even better for men who like to cheat on their partners because at least you can be sure you are not procreating the world with your kind. 

It does not affect your sexual experience /satisfaction in any way. A vasectomy can be done in the doctor’s office, it really is that simple. For me the most important advantage was told me by my doctor friend who happens to major in Urology and it is the fact that it is less invasive than a woman tying her tubes. I mean, that just seals the deal for me. IT IS LESS INVASIVE. A woman has to be under general anesthesia for her tube ligation and more invasion means higher chances of infection. Tube ligation also makes a woman more likely to have an ectopic pregnancy. CAN WOMEN CATCH A BREAK??

Let me add for fun here that I asked a few guys if they would be open to getting a vasectomy and they were like ‘HELL NO‘. Lmaooo, it is always funny when men think their manhood is tied to their penis. Anyway, I asked why and their answers were generally to say there are other options, and I put it to them those other options they mentioned put the burden on the woman, why don’t you be a MAN as you claim to be and get snipped off.

Pulling out and use of condoms are not anywhere near as effective, you can Google it yourself and get the statistics. WEBMD says pulling out works just 78% of the time while in male sterilization only about 2 in 2000 women go on to conceive after their men got snipped. It is also important you do these methods (condom and pulling out) right so as to get the best results but who remembers that when konji sets in. 

A vasectomy can also be reversed if the need arises. It is more complicated and expensive to do but it can be done.

Did you know some men’s excuse for not getting snipped is that they may still want to have kids with women other than the ones they are married to? So this means the woman opting to tie her tubes didn’t consider she could have kids with other men other than her husband? E be tins.

Also, in my conversation with my doctor friends who by the way do not practice in Nigeria, they believed the reluctance of men our side of the world in getting the procedure is our culture largely. In the “abroad”, men are a lot more open to these options and it got me wondering what we can do to make our men get to this stage. I want to say we are making progress, but I am still meeting 30 to 35-year-old men, EDUCATED but still don’t believe in the feminism or right of women movement. How does one even begin to work with that? I believe that as a human, you should be open to evolving. These men term it as “you are just being feisty”, when you are trying to explain why women shoukd have the same options as men.

Open your mind to learn, unlearn, relearn. In this century, if you want to be with a woman, it is unacceptable to claim ignorance of the many things that adversely affect our progress and general wellbeing. We (I) will not do it simply because it has always been done this way or our mothers did it a certain way.

Please, get information, be involved and actively help to make a woman’s existence easier as much as you can.

Doxology
PS: Please consult your doctor to verify all the above medical yarns ejoor o.

Also, this is my opinion, a woman is well within her rights to want to tie her tubes instead of letting the man get snipped.